.one too many.

…a place for waste…

Archive for October 2008

knives in her eyes…

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just added these pups on main street.

if you haven’t been yet.

gander.

blah.

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Written by canepari

October 30, 2008 at 4:02 am

Posted in 1

a solid block of waste.

with one comment

the campaign trail continues.

canepariforpresident.

this time i blazed a trail along the Atlantic.

boston.

newport.

D.c.

and my personal favorite…

sherryville, virginia.

i shook hands.

i hugged friends.

i photographed most of what i ate.

please punch the chad all the way through as we’d hate to have to recount.

i didn’t bother trying for this guy’s vote.

rhode island’s a small state anyways.

not worth my time, i thought.

plus he seemed preoccupied with his windbreaker.

what’s the girl’s name from The Ring?

you know the one…

she hops out of a TV and facemelts the competition?

are oysters the least marketable food of all time?

“they taste better if you don’t chew”

i was watching a documentary about eating competitions

and one guy named “mad dog” said he ate 75 oysters in under 6 minutes…

forgive my nasty mind,

but the only thing i wanted to know was…

what happened next?

birds don’t vote anyways.

saw family in newport.

a party ensued.

little little sister sophia rose

aka rosebud aka arie rosenthal aka rosyrose

is 10!!!

i admit my gifts were cheap and selfishly bought.

but for a minute of intense joy,

they were a hit.

but that minute only lasted until the cake arrived.

then my dad made a political speech.

like most republicans,

he mostly just slung mud.

here is a fruitcake.

it symbolizes the moshpit of confusion that is the american diet.

is it a breakfast food?

is it a dessert?

is it food?

here is an american flag.

it used to symbolize four hundred years of ethnic confusion and a shit load of money.

it now symbolizes loud voices, confused eating habits and bad credit.

here is the washington monument.

it symbolizes a gigantic penis laughing at God.

he who shall not be named is in there right now.

damn.

i never thought i’d say it but…

virginia is a beautiful place.

deer and diners.

done and deal.

2 lambchops.

2 eggs sunny up.

forever.

in big blue neon lights the door said,

“BEER ROOM”

and in tiny red neon letters below,

it said,

“and some wine…”

virginia!

that’s sam shrager.

he just got married.

shragerlovesbagels4eva.

don’t forget to vote.

Written by canepari

October 28, 2008 at 11:58 pm

braggadocio.

with one comment

Written by canepari

October 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm

golden in the golden

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already i’m off the rails.

for the second post in a row,

i’ve included a photo of a family pet.

and now this one i’ve got a few snaps of my friend’s kids.

i know.

it’s patethic.

pets and kids?

and of course,

all the food i’ve eaten in between.

that’s trixie by the way.

she won’t bite.

california road trip.

bottom to top and back again.

listened to lots and lots of songs about california throughout…

here’s a list.

top 5 songs about california.

1.  going to california – irene krall

2.  california dreaming – mamas and papas

3.  san diego – shawn lee

4.  listen to the music – doobie bros.

5.  two tickets to paradise – eddie money

and anything from the catalogue of dj quik…

in’N’out!

double double.

strawberry milkshake.

boom.

L.

A.

not my favorite place.

here’s another list.

5 places i actually like less than los angeles.

actually the list is short.

only one place is on it.

it begins with an S.

it ends with an O.

please don’t ask.

peoples feelings will be hurt.

my homie in venice.

FinnCrisp aka giganticjesus aka blondeandblue4ever

and LukaBrazzi aka sleepswiththefishes.

bytheway, that is not me holding the baby.

he may look like me.

but he is a different person.

luka and finn’s mother has issues.

she thought this was cute.

i thought it was a bit creepy.

gigantor jesus

is

all muscle.

there is always work to be done.

networking and the such.

LAT.

let’s just say the meeting was short.

melBell is eating her 3rd inNout doubledouble burger in 2 days.

that’s 3 patties of beef per day.

i try to tell her to slow down but

she gets this LindaBlair expression on her face that scares the shit out of me.

so now i say nothing.

now that’s a fine looking city.

fine looking man.

fine looking city.

what’s not to like?

fleetweek.

it may sound cheesy but Jets flying all around in sychronization is so awesome.

America!!

then it got boring.

so Bell started eating the Jets.

the word your looking for is…

dapper.

we spent about an hour coming up with one-liners for mickey aka kickstand to use for his next punching incident.

here’s a list.

canepari’s 5 best oneliners for mickey’s tattoo…

1.  “can you read the words on my knuckles??” punch.

2.   “read the fineprint”  punch.

3.  “check out my new tattoo?”  punch.

4.  “how’d you like to be on a game show?”  punch with the deal hand only

and the obvious one…

5.  “you have 2 choices…”

done deal.

zeke.

Written by canepari

October 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Posted in 1

brand new new me.

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big day.

new website.

canepari.

Written by canepari

October 9, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Posted in 1

9 to fiver.

with one comment

last week i had to fly to a certain city,

for a certain publication,

to photograph a certain individual

(mystery is in short supply).

like the sucker i am,

i agreed to make it a one day affair,

meaning no hotel and

no travel day.

this means flight in the morning.

flight at night.

lots of torture in between.

in order to not delve into the depths,

i thought i’d photograph the day.

mostly it’s just photos out of a taxi/airplane/train/tuktuk window

and the food i ate in between.

so if you’re not interested,

you don’t have to stay.

we begin early early…

i wish i could photograph the look i get at airport security…

8am.

ambassador taxi.

Jagdish knows only one word in english…

punctual.

something you don’t hear about very often in the West

is the high number of airport annoucement booths

that spontanously go up in flames.

big problem

the shame of a nation.

jet-airdoesitbetter also.

non-veg-canepari strikes again.

originally i was going to lather some mango pickle onto that lonely sausage,

but instead i went another direction…

boom!

flying into Bombay,

Azadnagar Shantytown sits adjacent to the international airport.

and you can’t avoid a trip from the airport to the city without passing through Dharavi,

the biggest slum in Asia.

boom!

lunchtime!

samosas and a miranda.

automatic on a workday.

artfag is the word your looking for.

it’s now 230pm.

i’ve been up since 6am.

i’ve had two meals.

i’ve traveled 500km.

i’ve used 3 different types of transportation.

and i haven’t even begun to work…

i’m bored.

but eventually,

i took my portrait.

i wasn’t the only one who wanted dude’s attention though…

i was sandwiched between NDTV and MINT.

woe is me.

and voila,

my work day is done.

maybe i should have added a few images from the shoot,

but i didn’t.

get over it.

after the pleasent 2-hour drive through mumbai traffic

coming to the city

i decided for to take the local train back

and finally,

the tuktuk ride.

it is also a ritual to take down a strawberry milkshake at the end of every work day.

cafe coffee day (great name!) at the airport solved that problem.

after all that,

my prepaid taxi is the last last last taxi

as far away from the terminal as possible,

in the deepest nether regions of the airport parking lot.

at this point,

loathing is beginning to settle in.

but finally,

home at last.

burt reynolds aka destroyer aka little old chinese man

greets with a smile.

here are the stats.

1000 km.

3 taxis.

2 planes.

1 tuktuk.

1 train.

2 samosas.

7 cups of chai.

1 strawberry milkshake.

1 breakfast sandwich.

7 rolls of film.

1 portrait.

boom.


CANEPARI OF THE DAY

“his heart says ?”

a la prochain.

canny.

Written by canepari

October 3, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Posted in 1