.one too many.

…a place for waste…

mad cow.

with 4 comments

first,

a disclaimer.

the following story never ends and is morally ambiguous.

much like the following photographs.

enjoy.

last night i was a bit under the weather.

a shoot at disneyland had left me with the dreaded disneyland-mad/cow.

AKA a cough and some snot.

there i was lying in bed,

moaning and writhing like the man-child that I am,

and there was this beeping sound.

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

high and shriekish.

like the alarm on my old casio watch.

now granted,

every sound in my neighborhood,

due to compressed living spaces and paper thin-walls and loud neighbors with little yapping dogs(!!!),

is amplified.

anyways irrelevent.

 so like clockwork,

everytime i’d start to get out of bed to investigate,

it would stop.

as soon as i got back in bed it’d start again.

finally,

my frustration bubble popped,

and to my twisted girlfriend’s pleasure,

i screamed as loud as i could,

“please kill that beeping noise fuck shit poop!!!!”

but nothing.

the beeping continued.

then it started to get more sporadic.

someone was clearly trying to stop the beeping but couldn’t figure out how.

beep beep be…

beep beep beep beep b…

beep bee…

my lady theorized,

“it’s probably the methhead with the sector nine”.

i wasn’t so sure.

either way it just wouldn’t stop.

finally,

i went for it.

out of the bed.

feet in the slippers.

down the stairs.

and out the door.

like a hunter i sniffed.

like a hunter i walked next door.

like a hunter i looked up the stairs.

and

like a hunter i saw the fire alarm dangling from it’s cradle.

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

a voice behind me,

“i couldn’t figure out how to turn it off”.

the methhead with the sector nine.

his eyes darting like a caged deer (on meth).

then fire engine sirens.

then the whole neighborhood in the streets.

i walked away in a haze of red lights and loud complaining chihuahuas.

yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap

beep yap

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Written by canepari

April 26, 2011 at 3:22 pm

4 Responses

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  1. which one’s the meth head?

    wes

    April 29, 2011 at 10:14 am

  2. The photographer.

    Martello da Fabro

    May 6, 2011 at 5:04 pm

  3. I say that in the most loving way.

    Martello da Fabro

    May 6, 2011 at 5:05 pm

  4. Hi Jeff, good to hear it was helpful.I beivlee a new bulb puts out more UV light than an older bulb, so in theory replacing the bulb should help. But the old bulb should be working well enough to kill any bacteria, as long as it hasn’t been in service for over a year.Depending on your water source, removing cleaning the outside of the glass sleeve really helps too. Our system is for filtered lake water (3 filters ahead of the UV light) I’ve found that although the UV warning light doesn’t come on, I still have to clean the sleeve every 6 months for the coliform bacteria tests to come back negative. I wipe it with a cloth using a light bleach solution, but if you have hard water you’d have to use the scale remover which is what’s recommended in the Trojan manual.BTW our neighbor (same lake water source) had been replacing their UV bulb annually but hadn’t ever cleaned the sleeve when they tested their water, they got 220 for the coliform count 25 for the e.coli count! They cleaned the sleeve, shocked everything downstream so far that’s solved the problem.Good luck

    Jabea

    January 5, 2013 at 4:34 am


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